Learn from Me: Take a tape measure


Allow me to impart my knowledge to you. This knowledge has been carefully retained from my experience, and  – yes, yes! – my mistakes. Allow me to save you from a similar fate.

Or as my husband, in good spirits,  is happy to call it: “I told you so.”

Back story: Last week when we met with Lauren Corbyn, I told her that I was adamantly against our green chairs. They have served us well and were gifted to us from my sister, by whom they were gifted to her by the previous owner of her house. They were custom made for the living room of the house they bought. Covered in an extremely large-scale blue chenille plaid, they were … special. When we updated them in green, it was a definite improvement, but I was not interested in putting any more money into the chairs post-hailOrama. Simon disagreed; he likes the size of the chairs. He thought they were just fine.  But he graciously acquiesced to my desire. However, as my husband is a deal hunter DeLux, we had to find something that was reasonable, which can be sometimes so hard to do when it comes to furniture shopping.

Divergent thought: why is ugly always cheaper than pretty? You can find an utterly heinous couch for $200 anywhere.

As we live in Oklahoma City where it sometimes feels our only option is Mathis Brothers (ick), we hopped on the road down to Dallas for a little getaway weekend to check out a few things we had seen online in person. West Elm had a great option at a fairly reasonable price. And this was exactly the shape I was going for – color, too.

And, to our surprise, Pottery Barn had this lovely pair on floor sample sale. Insanely comfortable and of a better quality than the West Elm chair, we were intrigued. Big time. But my stain-resistant husband had an issue with the white upholstery. And in reality, so did I. Even though I swore I would scotch-gard the heck out of ’em.

No go. Plus, I worried they might be a wee bit too small. You know – because were DOWNsizing.

Lauren also recommended that we check out the Wisteria Outlet, which was ah-mazing. Truly. If you are a Wisteria fan, get thee to the outlet which is also their main shipping hub for the regular catalog. They had some amazing deals, including some gorgeous X-benches that I could barely take my eyes off of. While there was no chair purchase, there was the purchase of a $15 rectangular lampshade for the living room. $15! A steal!

Since we were also in the neighborhood, Simon wanted to visit The Dump, where they have finds such as this (sarcasm – MUCH MUCH sarcasm)

The Dump describes themselves as “We buy overstocks, one-of-a-kinds, factory sell outs, showroom models, design prototypes, all brand new, first quality merchandise, at prices – 30,40, 60% off and more. The stuff regular stores don’t even want you to know about.” And it’s true – they have all kinds of things – while the rug above is heinous, they have all kinds of furniture and of varying quality and designers. I saw amazing Ralph Lauren furniture as well as some really awful pleather couches. You just never know what you’re going to find.

Gorgeous red Hollywood Regency-esque table? OH YES. It’s just missing one of its pulls.

Bamboo chair like you’ve seen in every major design blog and magazine? $150!!! I’m still kicking myself that I didn’t buy this. I just don’t have anywhere for it. ::sigh::

And then – THEN! Yes! Chairs!

And there were TWO of them! WOOT!

So, after about two hours of haggling, negotiating, and testy nerves, the chairs were ours. But we then had to get a UHaul to get them home.

OF COURSE we had to get a UHaul. Simon was not too thrilled. Nerves were fried, patience was stretched – somebody whose name starts with S does NOT like backing up a UHaul trailer, and I cannot blame him.

Items in mirror are closer than they appear. And larger.

The really awful ugly casino on the border of Oklahoma & Texas. Gee, wow, WELCOME to Oklahoma. Tacky w/ a capital T!

And then we get home and drag the chairs into our house from the Uhaul. And as we lug them into the living room, THEY ARE THE SAME SIZE AS THE GREEN CHAIRS I COMPLAINED ABOUT.


I cried. I really did. Simon laughed and laughed and laughed, and then gave me a big ol’ hug and told me how much he likes our new chairs. I felt a little bit better.

And then somehow he got me to agree to have a garage sale here next weekend (more on that later).

Moral of the story: Take a TAPE MEASURE with you to the furniture store!

Or, just take Simon.

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