There hasn’t been much of a monthly update in awhile on Sir Archer which is the plight of the second child, is it not? But beyond that, the past few months have kind of been a blur. It was probably in April when I started to feel really overwhelmed, exhausted, and kind of struggling in general. Depression was creeping in. My anxiety spiked and I had a couple of whopper panic attacks.

I recognized the signs because I started to feel that way back in September or October of last year and went to my OB to get some help. I didn’t want to get as bad as I had with Jude and this time around, I knew how to recognize and get help for postpartum depression and anxiety. But this spring’s relapse was super frustrating – I had been doing so well from November thru March. Why was I nosediving into anxiety again?

As I thought about it, I realized there was a lot going on: lots of travel (High Point and our PCH trip), lots of stress (hello, home tour – I’m looking at you), the Better Homes & Gardens shoot (round 2 of Stress-O-Rama), and lack of sleep. Not to mention the overall stress of having TWO KIDS which is oh-so-much harder than just one.  In other words, a potent cocktail for disaster. The biggest problem of all of this was that I was still getting up with Archer (who sleeps in his room upstairs) at least once a night, more often twice. And frankly, I was REALLY over it.

So it was back to counseling I went (I’ve gone off and on since I was pregnant with Jude 8 years ago) and started to work on a plan to get some support. As the summer months loomed (all you moms know the fear of unscheduled time), I hired a babysitter to come to our house twice a week (the first time I’ve ever hired a sitter if you can believe it) to give me a break, I dialed back our commitments overall, and finally I got help for Archer’s sleep issues.

A friend of mine suggested reaching out to a local sleep consultant to help get Archer (and me) sleeping through the night. Listen, I know that talking about sleep when it comes to babies is like setting off a grenade on the internet: there are SO MANY OPINIONS. And I won’t go into great detail on what we did specifically because really, it doesn’t matter to anyone other than us. (If you want specifics, I am more than happy to share them with you!) I needed/wanted someone to give me a step-by-step plan on exactly what to do and how to do it. I knew Archer needed to be weaned off the bottle, but I was surprised too to hear that he needed to go back to 2 naps a day. (I’d dropped one nap out of frustration because he’s been such a crap sleeper.)

I steeled myself for what I assumed was going to be so difficult on all of us, but surprisingly (mercifully!) he adjusted super quickly. And I am not even kidding – within a couple of days he was sleeping all night long. It was a total miracle. He’s so much happier and likewise I am too.

It was easily the best money I’ve spent in a long time.  But beyond the plan of action she provided? I felt supported. Like I could breathe again and that someone else understood what I was going through. That, my friends, is priceless.

So that’s the big update on months 15-17. The short version is this: if you’re starting to feel like you’re sliding into some place dark, know that you’re not alone. GET HELP. Depression and anxiety is a big fat ugly liar and you CAN get better. (I also found great support in sites like Postpartum Progress)

Likes: basketballs, stuffed animals, Nickels, dogs in general, climbing everything, swinging in the backyard

Dislikes: swimming (what?!), being strapped down, riding in the car, being told no.

I love you so much, sweet boy. We are all so thrilled with you and your delightful little personality as you continue to become your own little person.