Dear Internet, can we talk about trends for a minute? When you’re 2 years old, and your older brother is 9, it means that in order to live your best life, you’ve got to be participating in all things Grown Up. Thus, who has time for baby toys like Duplo Legos or, heaven forbid, those Fisher Price popcorn popper things. No. NO! You must be into the latest, greatest trend that the Big Kids are into. You’re watching toy haul videos on YouTube and nailing the water bottle flipping challenge.

Why was this a thing? How did videos of kids flipping water bottles and opening their birthday presents invade our lives? But then, in April, the fidget spinner entered our lives.  Jude be-bopped into the car after school one day and promptly announced that he neeeeeeeeded a fidget spinner. Uh, I’m sorry, a what? I had no idea what he was talking about but before we knew it, we were the proud owners a fidget spinner that, well, spun ’round and ’round.

How did this become a thing again? I’ve seen $20 fidget spinners, $50 ones, and cheapo depot ones at the Boy Howdy in Eufaula for $4. And Internet, they all do exactly the same thing. It is the slap bracelet of 2017.

While Jude was at sleepaway camp a few weeks ago, he sent home one lone letter. This is what it said:

Dear Mom and dad,

How are you doing? I made some new friends. Can you send me something from Blue Seven (editor’s note: favorite place to purchase said fidget spinners)? My friends are all getting packages. please I really want a cool fidgit spinner. The food is good here. We had pancakes. I love you alot.

Love Jude

PS I WANT a fidgit spinner please please please please please please please!

And? The first thing he said to me upon arrival was “I wish you would’ve sent more fidget spinners!!!!!”  GAHHHHH MAKE IT STAHHHHP.  I have officially stated that I Will Not Purchase Any More Fidget Spinners. The End. Thanks for Playing. Save your money. Love you bunches. Now go brush your teeth.

Then the other day, I was thinking about how it’s a whole new ballgame in parenting and being a kid. Social media, water bottle flipping challenges, Snapchat filters, and YouTube. We rarely turn on the actual TV anymore, but both boys are enthralled with toy haul videos and Jude begs me all the time to have a channel of his very own. Umm, nope – we will not be taking videos of all the things that you get on Christmas morning. NOT GONNA BE THOSE PEOPLE.

Then the other night, I was reading one of those vintage Little Golden Books to Archer – it is one of his favorites. Baby’s First Christmas, first published in 1959 – and what is it all about?

All the stuff Santa brings for this kid, paraded one by one. Archer is enthralled – there’s blocks, a bouncy swing, a shovel and a pail, a car, a train, a rocking horse, I mean it just doesn’t stop. And then you know what I realized? It’s the 1959 version of a YOUTUBE HAUL VIDEO.

So all that to say, Internet? Nothing is new under the sun.

Nothing.  Not even fidget spinners.