Shorty Short Shorts

I alternately titled this post: Shorts for Girls Who Don’t Wear Shorts. Internet, I am not a girl who wears shorts. I live in mortal fear of shorts. It may have something to do with my general aversion to seeing my wobbly bits. Or, it may have something to do with the fact that I was born a size 12 with child-birthing hips and have stayed a size 12 ever since. OR it may have something to do with the fact that I haven’t worn shorts in public since roughly 1994 when I was sporting these gems from County Seat.  ::slaps forehead::
Apparently striped shorts from County Seat are so hipster vintage that they are now appearing on Etsy (see here). Simon howled with laughter when he saw these. Ohhhh, but wait! Did I mention he had the guys’ version of these? Yup. We were style ICONS, I tell you!

So. For years it’s been No Shorts.  Maybe it was also my complete & utter horror at seeing wee tiny shorts with barely-there inseams hanging on the racks. I could imagine nothing worse on my child-birthin’ hips. But then Susan had to go and start tweeting back in, oh, FEBRUARY about how we all needed to get out and buy our shorts for the season right then. I nearly spit out my iced tea and banged my head on the keyboard as I read it and then promptly reached for the anxiety meds. Susan kept encouraging me though. And she had a point – the good selection has already dwindled, and it’s only just now April. I should’ve started earlier.

So. I’ve been embarking upon a quest to find The Right Shorts For My Thighs. And I’m just gonna tell you, it has not been easy. I’ve tried J.Crew, J.Crew Outlet, Gap, Banana Republic, and more. You name it, I’ve tried it. What I did learn, though, from this foray was that I was not picking the correct inseam. The shorts were either too long or too short. Then this last weekend, I hopped into Loft and promptly grabbed a slew of shorts in a variety of inseams and headed to the dressing room.

Here’s the thing. I don’t really subscribe to the idea that, “Oh, I could never wear _____.” You know what I’m talking about – those women that say, “Oh, I could never wear yellow.” “Oh, I could never wear a pencil skirt.” “Oh, I could never wear skinny jeans.” I simply don’t believe it. Yes, you CAN. You may just have to go to the ends of the earth to find the right one. It all boils down to fit & proportion. Simple dimple.

Ermm, dimple maybe is not the right term when discussing thighs.

BUT! Let me just tell you – I found love in a hopeless place, and the Marisa cotton twill shorts fit the bill. I present to you Shorts Nirvana for Those Cursed Blessed With Curvy Hips.

Coming in at a respectable 4″ inseam, the proportion is just right for my body. I think I could even get away with a 5″, but when I tried 6″, I was heading into dangerous Frumpy Mom Territory. And! I love that they came in a variety of fun colors (the green I’m wearing above seem to be sold out online but there were several in-store) and could easily be dressed up or down. Suddenly I have a whole new excitement for warm weather. Sure, skirts and dresses are still my go-to, but I seriously cannot stop thinking about all the fun things I’m going to wear these with!

A // B // C // D // E // F // G // H // I // J // K

Now that I’ve found The Ones, I’ve snatched them up in a variety of colors. I even grabbed these cute Ikat-inspired ones in my favorite cherry red color. Plus they were all 40% off with the Friends & Family sale this past weekend (take heart, though: it seems in my experience that Loft has a sale every other day, so keep an eye out).

Also, you should check out Susan’s latest post about her great hunt for shorts. She has some excellent shopping tips!

So I’ve gotta know – are you a shorts kind of girl? Where have you found your perfect pair?


  • Kim Willbanks

    You look FABULOUS in those shorts!!!  You’ve inspired me…..and I love Loft!

    • Anonymous

      hehehe thx! xo!

  • Loft shorts are the best.  I’m loving their curvy jeans too – for those of us who have curvy hips. 🙂

    • Anonymous

      I need to try them!

  • Omg thank you so much for this! I’m also cursed/blessed with curvy hips and  it makes shopping for trendy clothes so hard sometimes. I keep saying one day I’m going to invent jeans made just for girls with badonkadonks. I will be buying multiples of these!

    • Anonymous

      I completely hear you. You should check out CJ by Cookie Johnson jeans. She got her start making skinny jeans for the curvy girl. Of course she also does bootcut, etc., but I adore them and have purchased several pairs. The fabric is great and the fit is amazing!

  • LaNeale Robertson

    Those look great Rachel!  I DO NOT wear shorts….never never never.  It’s partly due to my large thighs but mainly due to the chub that encapsulates my knees.  Yes, I have chubby knees.

  • louise

    I too had the No Shorts mantra…swore off them completely from 20-33. Then last summer…at 34 I purchased shorts WHITE ones mind you 🙂  The pale and interesting (my mum’s words) legs I have always despised are now on display everytime the sun pokes his head out here in so cal.  My theory with short shorts is to buy them a size bigger, they sit lower on your hips so the 31/2 inch seem is technically longer but flattering …don’t go bermuda because they acccentuate the thigh area and if it’s hot will rub more.  Use kids as a shield in pictures if you are still unsure 🙂

     Love the green, you look great in that shot Rachel…really enjoy reading your blog.

    • Anonymous

      I’m totally giggling at that “use kids as a shield in pictures.” I’m glad to know I’m not the only one!

  • Amanda Greer

    I’ve avoided wearing shorts for years! Maybe this summer will be the one…

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  • Andrea

    I just bought 3 pair! Hopefully you’ll get a commission ; ) And yes, my children are always “shields” in photographs! 

    • Anonymous


  • Kaela

    Cute shorts!  You look great in them, WHAT? are you talking about not being a shorts gal?  You said you tried everything, but have you tried land end canvas?  I adore their heirloom chino shorts as they are totally mom appropriate.  I don’t need to be chasing any kiddos with my booty hanging out, thankyouverymuch.

    • Anonymous

      Ooh, no I haven’t looked there! I’m off to check ’em out!

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  • scarletbegoniavintage

    OMG how did I miss this post?! I have the exact same problem and I am a size 12 too! I am going to LOFT this week to see if they still have these shorts. I thought I was going to have to live in maxi dresses this summer. Thanks!

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  • Coral

    I’m coming to this late, but this is a really inspirational post! I’m a bit younger than the normal crowd here (college), but I don’t dress my age. I have always looked at more classic and “grown-up” styles. I’m curvy on the bottom, 8 to 12, depending on the brand, and this is uplifting that good shorts exist without trying to show everything! Thank you!

  • Amen, girl! I did not wear shorts for years either but in the past couple of years have found that the J.Crew 5″ Chinos and the Merona Target (4 or 5″) have been great!