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Shingletons don’t do dirt.

New Years getaway in Carlton Landing = www.pencilshavingsstudio.com

Last week we were chatting with Simon’s mom about granite countertops. She’s planning on updating their kitchen or maybe their master bathroom and Internet, it could be such a great makeover.  Anyway, we were sitting there and talking about what color she might get and Simon was all “Nope. Do NOT get the black granite. You will see ALL THE THINGS on it.”

And then it hit me.

There are things about a family that you cannot possibly understand until you have lived with them, amongst them, been baptized into their way of thinking and cultural norms. For the Shingleton family, one of these things is the Fear of Seeing the Dirt. At least, I think this is a Shingleton thing? It’s the only way I can explain Simon’s thought process, and I’m fairly certain I’ve witnessed his parents having these discussions with him too.

This fear manifests in numerous ways, but in our core family, this shows itself when there is a furniture, rug, fashion, or car purchase.

While perusing a pretty rug: “Can’t buy that one.”

“Why?”

“Because. It’ll show stains.”

“Uhhh…”

Internet, we have had this discussion 3,234,008,013 times.

While looking at a light colored handbag: “Oh, it’s going to look SO dirty.”

While buying a car that may be white, black or any  color other than the shade of dirt (beige): “Welp. That’s going to look dirty all the time.”

Then! When you have purchased the car the color of beige because it was such a steal and basically brand new, you will be highly praised for all time because YES. You have made an Anti-Dirt Decision. When your car is suitably soiled, everyone will applaud and say “LOOK HOW CLEAN IT LOOKS! YOU CANNOT EVEN SEE THE DIRT.”

The Fear of Seeing the Dirt (see also FOD – Fear of Dirt) means that you must must MUST buy the rubber floormats for your car. Yes, I am perfectly aware that your car came with floormats, but no. NO. BUY ADDITIONAL RUBBER FLOORMATS BECAUSE OF THE DIRT.

We laugh about these familial differences now, nearly 12 years into marriage,  and I legitimately am seeing the benefit of having rubber floormats (because #kids). And I’m convinced that we need to be telling newly engaged couples about marriage.

It boils down to this: your family never got rubber floor mats growing up, but his did.

 

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  • This made me laugh. We just got a new car and I wanted beige interior, which they didn’t offer. I knew black leather would show everything, and my husband and the salesman tried to convince me otherwise, but it was our only option so I had to suck it up. We’ve only had the car for three weeks now and my husband can’t stop obsessing about the dust, crumbs, scuff marks, etc. Haha! My family tends to stick with light colors because you can always use Oxiclean, bleach, or a Magic Eraser to clean it, while his always goes for dark materials. It’s funny how we all rationalize things.

    Now excuse me while I look at car seat covers and more rubber floor mats.😜😉

  • Mary

    Omg this is a thing in our house, too. My husband and I just had a conversation about the beige car thing. Eye roll. For our last two cars, we have prepurchased mats before picking up the car so that our feet never touch the carpet. Crazy town about “seeing dirt” on allthethings

  • Amy Gonzalez

    That’s okay, everyone in Oklahoma thinks that black granite counters is the top of the line. It drives me crazy with dark counters. I’m going with Cambria Weybourne counter and white cabinets. I will clean them like I do everything else.