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It’s a good thing they’re cute

If you’re squeamish, this post is not for you. But first, before we fall down the rabbit hole of yucky, let’s look at a cute photo of Chihuahuas.

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Internet, the things I have done for these dogs. BECAUSE of these dogs. The atrocities simply do not end.

Last week, Nickels yakked all over the couch the other day and I realized that it was because he had eaten 3 Lego heads, 1 Lego antenna, some foil, and a Lego hand. Being the good mom that I am, I realized I had to rescue the Lego heads for Jude, so I promptly removed them and put them into the dishwasher.

Let me be clear. I just went through dog vomit to rescue Jude’s Legos. This means he must take REALLY GOOD CARE OF ME in my old age. Because OMG.

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But! It goes on!

Years ago when our first chihuahua Mazie was still alive, we moaned and groaned because she was (deep breath) a poop eater. YES. A poop eater. And apparently Nickels and Coco are also (GAG) poop eaters as well. It’s like they think each other are their own treat machines. NO NO NO NO NO.

So Simon comes home from work and announces that someone at the office told him to sprinkle the poop with pepper and this will stop the fecal-eating behavior. I’m all for it. I mean, I sprinkle our pumpkins with cayenne pepper to keep the squirrels away, so surely this will work. So one of the puppies poops, and Simon yells, “GO GET THE PEPPER.”

But do we have regular old ground pepper? Of course not. All I have is a pepper grinder. So there I am, hovering over the poop, grinding the pepper like I’m a waitress at the Olive Garden. “Fresh cracked pepper anyone?” I caught a glimpse of Simon taking my picture with his iPhone and I threatened to murder him in his sleep. Now wasn’t that loving?

The ridiculousness does not end. For example, we noticed our vintage coffee table from an estate sale that has been repainted has tiny bite marks on the corners. Then I caught Nickels perched on one of  our Moroccan right at eye level with the corner of the table, gnawing away. NO! BAD DOG! But the worst of it? The fact that I caught him chewing on ALL FOUR CORNERS of our newly painted blue kitchen island. NO NO NO NO NO.

All I can say is, it’s a good thing they’re not golden retrievers. Because at this point the entire house would be destroyed.

Despite all the craziness, I do love these nutty little dogs. I needed some soft furry little creatures to love on, to fill the need to take care of something small and tiny. And they are beyond precious when we’re all snuggled up together on the couch watching a movie. ::sigh:: Love. It’s a crazy thing.

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  • catybarb

    I can’t speak to the poo-eating – our dog (thankfully) doesn’t do that. However, I did catch her chewing on our newly faux-painted banquette as a puppy. I read all sorts of bulletin boards telling us to buy an expensive bitter spray, but in the end I just rubbed half a lime (or lemon) on the edges. One taste of that, and she never chewed on the banquette again.
    Once I was sure it was no longer a potential chew toy, I wiped the corners down.
    Good luck!

    • Ooh, brilliant idea to put the lemon on it. We were laughing that we should just go ahead and rub sriracha sauce on everything and that would do the trick. 😉

  • Bridget Wall

    It’s funny, our goldens have never chewed on the furniture…they will hold socks in their mouths, and the one that’s tall enough to see on the countertop will take her chance pulling down pans from the oven to the floor to check them (bacon? bacon? I smell bacon!”) – but no chewing. They do shed like crazy, though.

  • Someone told us to put meat tenderizer (the powder) on their food and it will make hem stop eating the poop!

  • Oh man, this makes me giggle really hard! “Fresh cracked pepper anyone?” HA! Best line! Glad the poopies are bringing you joy even with the crazy. 🙂

  • Emily R

    HAHAHAHAHA! I’m dying over the pepper grinder! You are making me feel a whole lot better about the incident we had Tuesday in which Ozzy gently caressed, licked, and savored his own vomit. Gotta love these dogs!

  • rachel h

    You’ve got to try this bitter apple spray: http://www.amazon.com/Grannicks-Bitter-Apple-Bottle-Ounces/dp/B00028ZMEO

    It works wonders! The description says it works for chewing fur, bandages, etc. but I used it on flip flops, couch legs, and rugs to keep my pups from chewing on things. Immediate reaction of “disgusting!” from my dogs and they instantly stopped chewing. Good luck with the pup training!

  • Kandice

    I agree – get the Bitter Apple spray! It does help! And I feel your pain…. I’m going through the same thing with my adopted… golden retriever! If my house survives, it will be a miracle!!! Good luck!

  • Emily Montgomery

    Lol … the pepper grinder! I hear ya though … we adopted a pug about 6.5 years ago and she did the same thing. We’d stand outside with her and pull her away from the poop. Our first pug chewed on the corners of my grandparent’s old coffee table too. Dogs … can live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.

  • Kandice Shiell

    Why not just pick up the poop with a bag and throw it out? Unless you really enjoy pepper’ing the poops! 🙂 Hilarious none the less. I hope you can figure it out, we just got a pooch that enjoys a midnight snack of a popsicle left by our other dog (we live in Canada and it’s FROZEN)! So now it’s no more poops in the back yard, only on walks (if we can make it happen) LOL

    • See, that’s exactly what I told Simon. It feels stupid to be there grinding pepper over poop when you could be tossing it out instead!

  • Stephanie Bice

    HILARIOUS!